My Best Advice:
Overall I think this is a great speech. I really enjoyed the tone in your voice and the detail that was given throughout. It truly allowed me to see how important and significant this ring is to you, and also how much it just allows you to be yourself and helps you grow day in and day out. In my eyes, one thing you could work on is eye contact like you said. Having this be more consistent will allow your audience to stay engaged. I also think focusing more on the ring and less on your transition to UNE and your goals there would be better. You seem to veer off of the meaning behind your ring and it seemed more focused on the school and your struggles and achievements there. You did a good job bringing it back together in the end, but make sure the majority of your detail is on the ring and not on your experience at UNE. Other than that, I really enjoyed the message behind it all and think this was a great dry run! Keep it up.
Why it is my Best Advice:
Giving feedback is about actively listening so you’re able to, analyze your peer’s speech, and then give them helpful hints in order for them to in the end, preform better. In this feedback letter, I feel as though I allowed her to foresee many positive aspects throughout her speech, but then also gave her pointers to allow her speech to advance in a multitude of ways. Giving her feedback and allowing her to notice that her speech veered away from the main message she was trying to provide, allowed her to go back and better organize her thoughts and give us more detail on an object that truly meant a lot to her. Also, allowing her to know the importance of eye contact and how much it effects the audiences engagement was also important. It was a small fix, but I felt that bringing it to her attention was necessary. Providing positive criticism and allowing my peers to get a taste of what I am hearing, seeing, and even feeling throughout their speech allows them to in the end, focus on the smaller, more knit picky things, and improve their overall performance.
Best Advice From a Peer:
Great speech! I loved how you shared something so personal, it really made me connect to your emotional side, this resulted for a great delivery. I think one thing you may need to work on is that it is coming off as you are reading a page at times. But overall, you spoke slow and only paused a couple times. I’m sure your final draft will be amazing!
Why it is Their Best Advice:
After receiving this feedback I was able to go back and reflect on my speech with this helpful criticism in mind. While working on my final draft of this speech, I not only focused on what they thought needed work, but also kept working on the things they thought I did well on. Before reading this feedback, I wouldn’t have thought it sounded as though I was reading off of page, but then going back I could see why I came off like this. This feedback was very helpful because it allowed me to notice things that I at first didn’t even think about. I really enjoyed that it started and ended with positive feedback and was able to sandwich in the critiques I needed to improve upon. This easily allowed me to make corrections to advance my work in a positive way, and was much appreciated.
My Biggest Strides:
In my eyes, from the dry run to my final draft speech I saw and experienced the most growth in speech 2. I think it is important to state that I not only saw the most development but also felt and experienced the most growth and change throughout this speech. At this point and time, I was still new to speaking in front of people, or my computer for better terms, but I think that overall, from the dry run to the final, I was more confident in my own shoes, better prepared, and used better flow and eye contact. I utilized my outline and saw a drastic change. With less words, and more specific points in my outline I was able to better elaborate on different points and add my own detail when necessary. I felt as though being confident in my own shoes allowed me to open up, add emotion and connect with my audience in a much deeper way. I was able to change the tone in my voice, show emotion through my facial expressions and body, and just be me and tell my own story. An example of this that I am proud of is at 1:18 where I begin to talk about things out of my control that clearly bothered me, but that I was still passionate about. I shrug my shoulders, change the tone in my voice, and also raise my eyebrows while continuing to make eye contact. It wasn’t easy to talk about and definitely wasn’t easy to experience but I feel that the emotion definitely showed. I also think that my message was strong and the overall organization of the piece as a whole was much better allowing it to flow and my points to come across clearer. From the feedback I received I was able to find ways to allow my transitions to flow better and get rid of the short pauses I had throughout my dry run. I feel that adding pauses when necessary is very helpful and allowed me to grab the audience’s attention. I allowed myself to transform the pausing from a “loss of words” feel to a more “let the information soak in” feel and I believe that that was very beneficial. I feel as though I have come a long way, and the feedback was very helpful when conducting my final speech. It definitely wasn’t easy but gaining confidence in myself and my abilities was very helpful. I am definitely happy with my final speech and feel that the hard work and preparation definitely paid off.
Speech 2 dry run:
speech 2 final draft:
The Secrets to my Success:
